Menopause Test

Take the Menopause test

Grab a cup of Coffee and enjoy finding out your level of knowledge about Menopause. There is no pass or
fail and certainly no answer sheet

This test is adapted from "Red Hot Mamas Do Menopause in Style" .....2000 e-mail message

• Estrogen and Progesterone are:
  • Approved by the Surgeon General to dispense in all public schools
  • Magicians in training
  • The name of Jan Fonda's children
  • None of the above
• Hot flashes are signals that:
  • Rain is in the forecast
  • You ate too much Indian food
  • Your car has broken down
  • The new language of your neighbors is catching on
• Provera is
  • Given to pilots to make them more alert
  • Name is your favorite cat
  • A Province in France
  • The part of speech that modifies a verb
• Some minor drawbacks of Hormone Replacement Therapy are:
  • Sudden career change
  • Frizzy hair on the chin, chest and back
  • Simultaneous weight gain, insomnia, memory loss, incontinence and stubble
  • Taking in many roommates
• Vaginal jellies are:
  • Low in fat
  • Worn mostly at the beach
  • Ordered from Harry and David's Catalogue
  • Considered to have a long shelf life
• Menopause begins when:
  • Your credit care is declined
  • You swear off men
  • You are bored
  • Your Rolodex becomes a blunt instrument
• Unusual vaginal bleeding is a sign of:
  • A bad hair day
  • Your pants are just too tight
  • Acupuncture abuse
  • Religious superiority
• Calcium is:
  •  A new fragrance from Calvin Klein
  • The Capital of India
  •  Intended to be taken intravenously
  •  A Condiment
• Middle age spread is best described as:
  • A ladies' luncheon
  • The time in History when Knights were bold
  • More affordable than butter
  • An appetizer best served cold with crackers
• Estrogen Patches are:
  • Easy to sew on jackets
  • The best way to stop smoking
  • An alternate to packaged food used with Commercial Diet plans
  • The preferred eye wear of pirates
• Mammograms are:
  • Mother's Day greetings
  • A small unit of measure
  • Used to make crust for cheesecake
  • Pictures of your mother-in-law
• Female Gynecologists are more honest than:
  • Auto mechanics
  • The milkman
  • The Clergy
  • The President
• More than 7 million women rely on Premarin to:
  • Sweeten their morning coffee
  • Put their children to bed at night
  • Improve their Bowling score
  • Get their dishes clean
• Breast self exams are:
  • Ordered by mail
  • Good because you can't be caught cheating
  • Banned by men
  • Always done in a group setting
• PMS is:
  • The monogram on Paul Simon's luggage
  •  An ingredient added to Chinese food
  • A maneuver taught in driver's ed
  • An acronym for Permanent Mental State 

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